Spotted on Kotaku, concerning Penny Arcade:

If video game journalism were a Shakespearean play, they would be the clowns. (Kotaku would be the homicidal, naval-staring stepson.)

First thing: You can’t say “if (it) were.” You either have to say “if it was” or, as I suspect was the intent, “if’n it were.”

Second thing: There is no second thing. The abstract concept of Brian Crecente’s day-to-day mental activities is in fact best illustrated by the metaphor of gawking out into nothing while floating in the vast, empty sea. This perhaps unintentionally seaworthy train of his thought lays track in the portion of the brain most writers reserve for actually knowing the very basics of the language they are paid to write in.

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