Courtesy of dumb “adult” game Frank’s Adventure 4, this is one conversational contingency plan with a wide range of utility:

Try it out now:

“Sir, if I could have a moment of your time…”

“Wowee, I don’t know anybody at this party!”

“Hottiepally whispers, ‘u want to do 5 man scholo?’”

“We have no problem with you airing our errors to the world (we do the same by keeping our updates public), but I’d like to think you’d simultaneously alert us to them as a professional courtesy.”

Somehow Sony felt like a survival horror game about eerily calm psychopathic pre-pubescent proto-lesbian schoolgirls wouldn’t have the same appeal in North America as it would in Japan. I don’t know why— if Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles could adjective its way to millions, surely this could?

Anyway, Sony is publishing Rule of Rose in Japan, but declined to do so here as well. Luckily for all you “loli” pervs, Atlus decided to pick up the hot, hot slack.

Read - Press Release [Atlus]

In honor of the second and final day of the Sex in Videogames Conference— the premier event for women to gather and discuss the latest ways to not feel lonely while they masturbate, and maybe some other stuff— the Metafuture Women’s Studies Division would like to present an essay on other stuff— why Alyx of Half-Life 2 is not an engaging character to her peer group women.

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Still reading? OK then.

In her latest “Sex Drive” column, Wired’s sex reporter, Regina Lynn, tackles cybersex, those looking to mix it more heavily with another popular online activity, gaming, and those resistant to the whole idea, namely most gamers and most cybersex…ers. We’re apparently holding back the free spirits by laughing at their demands to put dongs on orcs.

From what I’ve seen in blogs and forums, “real” gamers scoff at sex games. “Go watch porn,” they say, sardonic and superior. Games are serious, cybersex is not, and combining the two is just another example of the entertainment industry not getting it.

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